Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance is like the bloke at karaoke who belts out opera in full battle armor— absolutely mental, but you can't help but love him.

Remember when we were kids trying martial arts and ended up looking like a couple of drunk giraffes on roller skates? Well, Raiden makes it look proper amazing. He's slicing through metal gears like they're made of butter, which reminds me of my awkward and cringy attempts at cheering up a mate after a breakup – except he's actually good at it.

The game's got more characters than a reality TV show gone wrong. There's this robot wolf having an existential crisis, a Brazilian bloke who's thicker than a dictionary, and a senator who clearly got his political advice from WWE wrestling. And don't get me started on the Cambodian walking meme machine – he's like Twitter gained sentience and started throwing magnetic grenades.

The story's about as subtle as Jerry Springer's hosting style, but that's the beauty of it. One minute you're having a philosophical debate about war economy, the next you're suplex-ing a Metal Gear RAY. The combat's so satisfying, it's like finally getting to tell that one joke you've been holding onto all night – and it absolutely kills.

Look, if you've never played Metal Gear before, this is like jumping into Game of Thrones starting with the Red Wedding. Mental? Yes. Confusing? Absolutely. Will you enjoy watching everything go bonkers? You bet your cybernetic arms you will.

dead ass, amazing game only problem i have is the camera. its almost pointless trying to fight it

Fruit Ninja 2 electric boogaloo, thank you Platinum Games for allowing me to give my weapon its purpose